Tara's Hands

birth and early parenting preparation

2012-01-21T19:47:00.000-08:00

This on going group is an offer to begin or deepen the practice of mindfulness for meeting the profound changes in our bodies and minds during pregnancy, childbirth and parenting.

Through mindfulness meditation, and group dialogue we will learn a way to fully live the joys and challenges of this transformative time and cultivate lifelong skills for healthy living and wise parenting

* Practice various mind/body modalities for working with pain in childbirth
* Experience using the breath as an anchor to the present moment
* Tap into inner reservoirs of strength, confidence and courage
* Learn how to be fully present to give assistance as a birth partner
* Begin to cultivate the powerful tool of mindfulness, moment-to-moment
awareness for the challenges of birthing and parenting
Access deep physical and mental relaxation
Learn to engage the mind to work with pain during labor
Understand the physiology of childbirth, breastfeeding, and babies
Increase confidence and courage for labor and delivery
Develop tools for managing stress in pregnancy, parenting, and daily life

Our next meeting is on Sunday February 5th from 2pm to 4:30 pm
Sunday February 19th 2pm to 4:30 pm

the cost is 35 $ per couple 25$ single, plus teaching material
existing clients of SFMS donation basis

Please e mail for location and registration rdgrangl@aol.com

First Birth of the Year for me...

2012-01-08T18:50:00.000-08:00

A huge baby just arrived a couple of hours ago. Weighed in at almost 10 pounds. Mind you, he was supposed to be here before Christmas.
Better late than never... or a wizard is never late. Always precisely on time,
exactly when he means to. It was a quick and drug free event. His name is Jack and his mother and father most likely will not be able to sleep tonight because they are so happy and can not stop looking at him. Happy Birthday Jack and Congratulations Jessica and Paul.

Mindful Early Parenting Group...

2012-01-04T12:06:00.000-08:00

This group is meeting again on February 18th from 10:30 am to 11:45 am
please e mail me if you would like to be added to the existing google group.

rdgrangl@aol.com

mindfulness meditation practice support for professional caretakers...

2012-01-04T11:53:00.000-08:00

This on going group will meet again on March 3rd. How to train ourselves to be more present to respond to our own needs and the needs of others through the training of mindfulness in a formal setting and in every day life as it presents itself.
How to keep practice fresh and avoid burn out.

we will meet from 10:00am to 4:00pm at 1258 A Armistead Road SF CA
There will be a potluck lunch break.

This is a fundraiser for the Ralang nunnery, thus there is no set fee
and nobody will be turned away for lack of funds.
A donation from 1$ to 50 $ would be much appreciated.

Please call or e mail for registration rdgrangl@aol.com or 415 885 4057

Happy New Year to all!~

Mindful Early Parenting Group... about toys

2011-12-21T17:57:00.000-08:00

Here are some thoughts in regards to toys and the activity of "playing".

A subject we looked at at the last baby group.

while we are observing the development of our child, we notice that the very first "toys" a baby discovers are her hands, next will be her feet. Next she will develop
curiosity in regards to texture and she will practice reaching for and holding on to a toy that she will explore with all of her senses. Seeing, feeling, tasting, smelling and hearing. We can observe the child getting deeply focused on these activities.
It resembles the focus of a grown person at "work". this small baby is seeking information through all of her senses while she is learning and practicing body functions and the ability to focus.
As parents we go through great trouble to provide nutritionally balanced and organic foods. The same awareness is needed when we nourish and protect our young children s
senses from environmental toxins and over stimulation.

It is good to consider leaving space for the child's budding senses to develop.

A parents finger for instance could be a perfect toy for a 5 to 6 months old baby.

Watching it move and find out about all the things it can do. It is mostly about

creating the possibility for the small child to engage physically and be with their

naturally existing creative imagination, which later, as they are older, grows into

creative problem solving skills. For that reason it is better to keep toys rather

simple, avoiding mechanical toys. The young childs physical Organs are formed

through a healthy physical environment such as being exposed to natural space, color,

sound, taste and feeling. Children learn not by verbal information, as we all know,

they copy us and their environment. Their emotional response informs the fine

structuring of their brain, which is still relatively unripe at birth most deep

structuring has taken place by the age of seven.

Lakshmi and me

2011-12-21T17:55:00.000-08:00

Laksmi' brother Rohan enjoying a pre natal

2011-12-21T17:53:00.000-08:00

.... and one more little girl in November

2011-12-21T17:45:00.000-08:00

Little Lakshmi came earlier than we all thought and quick, quick quickly.
I received the call while walking the dog. I dragged the dog home against his will
and jumped in the car to make a b-line over to Bernal... where I found Lakshmi's mother
pacing around her bed trying to keep composure.... well, the pre schooler needed to be taken to the play ground real quick, before her daddy could be all hers for the afternoon. So she waited just a quick 10 minutes and just as her daddy walked in, she
was born. Happy birthday little Lakshmi. Congratulations Wiebke, Tinoo. Rohan, Ludo and Oskar.

2011-12-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

Twins on Thanksgiving day...

2011-12-21T14:38:00.000-08:00

There was a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
Just after a marvelous dinner with my family and just as I had finished washing the last dish, my phone rang and Jerusha called me to let me know that the contractions she has been feeling for weeks and weeks were now feeling much more real and she thought the babies had decided this was going to be their day. Now they were considered term
and ready to come meet their family face to face.
A few hours later we welcomed Owen and Chamille. They came out as a big bundle of joy.
Pink, happy little babies, ready for a late Thanksgiving dinner.
Happy birthday Owen and Chamille. Congratulations Jerusha, Jamie. Josephine and Smokey the dog. And congratulations Aunties and uncle, grandmas and grandpas that were all helping to "special" Jerusha to create the environment to help keep Jerusha happy and sane during her hard work of carrying twins.

Thanksgiving Babies

2011-12-21T14:30:00.000-08:00

On November 22nd little Taylor was born in her mother and fathers cozy
bedroom. Everything about her and everything about her birth was just
exactly perfect. There was a grandma and grandpa awaiting her outside of the room
and it looked to me like her animal brother Tyler was also very exited to meet her.
Happy birthday Taylor and congratulation Christine and Scott.

October Babies

2011-11-18T20:03:00.000-08:00

On October 26th 2011 Anshu and Eric had a little girl in the comfort of their own bedroom. It was a very quiet middle of the night birth and went rather quickly.
We though that Rhia would be hear much sooner but she just hadn't been ready.
Anshu said the thing was that Eric went down stairs to make her Masala Chai after the birth and then we just sat together to look at the baby. Before long she started to smack her little lips to let us know she was ready snack herself. Happy Birthday Rhia and Congratulations Anshu, Eric and Ania...sorry I forgot her grandmothers name but she should be mentioned here as she came all the way from India to help and help she did!

On October 28th Sakurako and Tim had a little girl who they named Ayana.
She was born at the Steinhard Hotel. A place that doesn't see to many births I bet.
I am happy for Sakurako to have had a very uncomplicated birth. Little Ayana seems to be super strong and all muscle. She muscled her way to the breast and latched on like a little milk shark. Happy Birthday Ayana. Congratulations Sakurako and Tim.

I feel so lucky with this profession. When I come home in the wee early morning hours
my heart feels wide and spacious, generous and happy with love and gratitude.
Birth never gets old even after all these years.

2011-11-18T19:53:00.000-08:00

On a personal transformative journey to sikkim sept 9th to oct12th

2011-11-18T19:22:00.000-08:00

On September 9th my son Paolo and I went on a journey. First we stopped in Germany to see my family but most importantly to see my father who is in a nursing home.
He was delighted to see us and we had a few short but intensiv days with him in my hometown. Our next stop was Dehli/ India from where we took another Airplane to Siliguri
which is in Darjeeling. There we rented a jeep to take us to Gangtok/ Sikkim.
After resting one night, we took another jeep which took us to Rumtek monastery, which is further up the mountain. Once there we were happily reunited with my friend and teacher Khenpo Ghawang, abbot of Rumtek monastery. Once there we were taken care of as if we were royalty. Khenpo Ghawang said " Rest"and rest it was. Until the big earth quake hit but that is a story for another time. We survived it when many people did not. The monastery was largely destroyed but we were safe amongst the monks and kind people of Rumtek. My son and I mostly meditated and received teachings from Khenpo Ghawang on life questions and Buddhist wisdom while we were there.when I had visited last year I had begun taking vows with Khenpo Ghawangs help and this year I expressed the wish to complete my novice nuns vows. On the morning of October 6th the time had finally come.
My son took scissors and razor to my hair and my teacher handed me my robes before it was time for the ceremony. Now I am a novice Buddhist nun, which is important to the reader of this blog as not to be surprised to see me dressed in yellow and red robes with hair very very short. I am well on the path of introspection, mind training and study. I am lucky to be a midwife because all of this training and meditation is about creating space and developing my intellect and my heart in a balanced way. I hope my training will be useful while I am supporting babies and their mothers and families.

2011-11-18T19:08:00.000-08:00

Not to forget Emily's day. She gave birth to her son Leo in the comfort of her own bedroom. It was a short and sweet day time birth with all of her favorite people present.
Her husband Tim, who is a gentle and wise soul and her friend Inke and me .
We were the welcome committee for this little guy. I dont know how to say this because all births are special to me. In this case there was a story of a peaceful and wonderful passing in this same room and we were all so happy because something about it felt like everything had come full circle in this house. I had an inner joy that stayed with me for the rest of the week. well... I was also already getting ready for another trans formative journey to the Himalayas. This time with my son Paolo.

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August and September arrivals

2011-11-18T17:47:00.000-08:00

It is true, a lot has happened and many babies have been born since my last entry.
I can not just pick up entry where I am right now. All mothers and their babies need to be honored here and join this gallery.
Everybody I am going to mention here has prepared themselves best they could through either joining my group for mindful birth and parenting preparation
or they have taken Nancy Bardackes class, at UCSF in mindfulness methods. They learned about meditation and most importantly included the practice in their daily lives.
There is Vanessa and Joey, who had a little boy Bodhi at home in their loft, at SOMA.
It was in the middle of the night and a stunningly peaceful and quiet event. Vanessa had a little smile on her face when Joey told her that he could see the babies head through the intact bag of water and moments later he was born. beautiful!

Soon there after, on the SF Marathon day, I was lucky to be the last car that made it through the barrier. On the other side of the runners,Alexander and Christine were waiting for me.
She was hoping I would tell her that she is now in active labor. She had been in early labor all Saturday and all of Saturday to Sunday night. I had been there intermittently
and was hoping she would get a little rest during the night, just to wake up in active labor on Sunday morning... and she did. She herself is a former Marathon runner of Iceland. There one has to wear special shoes to be able to run on the Ice... Well, to make this very long story a little shorter, by the time we heard the runners go by the house and peoples shouts of encouragement were heard in the apartment, Christine was ready to have the baby and needed all the encouragement she could get. She had a extremely cute little girl with lots of dark hair. It took a little while but Christine was born at home herself with the help of a dutch midwife and now she gave birth at home with the help of a German midwife. Close! Happy birthday Irma

I am pretty sure that Yana's little girl Sophie was born next. She had planned to labor at home and go to the hospital for the final birth, which we did. I had some reservations as they had chosen CPMC as their hospital and Yana had said that her doctor was fine with me being there as Yana's private midwife. So she labored at home
with her her husband Dan and me and two naughty dogs. A little kneeling on the floor, a little time in the bath tub and some walking around. After a while I checked her cervix and posed the question of making the trek to CPMC, since she was progressing well. At CPMC we it took Yana a moment to adapt to the new environment. The triage nurse was not really happy to see a woman who knew what she was doing. That all changed when we got upstairs to labor and delivery, where we had a very sweet and helpful nurse. I wished I could remember her name, just to mention her here. thumbs up!
Yana went in the bathtub and very soon she began to roll her big eyes. She was having second thoughts about the natural childbirth approach but when I told her that I knew what she was thinking, she decided to just see what was around the bend in the road and lo and behold there came little Sophie, with a tremendous appetite. Happy Birthday Sophie.
'
Now comes the story of the birth of Barbara's and Massimo's third child.
It is a very long story. To long to tell it here. I had delivered Barbara's second baby at home and we were hoping for another home birth this time around but towards the end of her pregnancy I began to have doubts about the wisdom of this plan. There were a few signs that had me on my toes. subtle signs but never the less I felt like I needed to be true to my own instincts. Barbara and Massimo were a little sad to let go of their plan but once the birth was really under way, they were very happy that I made the decision to have the best hospital birth at UCSF. She screeched by a C section but due to her incredible stamina, she did have the baby vaginally. The baby was a face presentation...when I had given a vaginal exam, I could feel the babies eyes and nose.
Incredible job Barbara, oh the baby weighed in at 10 1/2 pounds. Happy birthday Leo

After that Juniper and Siveya had a little boy they named Arcus. Arcus came 2 weeks late and even though we made good efforts to get him to come out with natural methods
he needed an extra invitation at Kaiser S.F. Juniper did great and so did Siveya.
She had a very peaceful natural childbirth with a tiny little help in spite of the kaiser environment. I dont think Kaiser gets many women who meditate straight through potential trouble. Thus Arcus was a very happy little camper when he was born. Well not little I might add here. he was also way over 9 pounds. Happy Birthday Arcus.

More Summer Babies

2011-08-22T22:22:00.000-07:00

On the 4th of July Amy and Jon Cole and big "little" sister Maggie, were joined by a little boy, whom they named Oliver. Little Oliver was born right after the fireworks
had finished and just in time when his Grandma Janice and his two aunties showed up.
Sweet Amy had been pacing in the balmy summer air, out side on the deck through out all of her labor and for a moment I thought he might be born right there as well.
But no.. we had just enough time to make it to the family bed. The bed where his sister Maggie was born 3 years earlier. What a blessing to be here with this strong and loving family. How lucky for Oliver to have landed here. Their house feels like it is protected by good spirits. Today Amy and Jon came with their two children.
After I gave Amy a check up, Maggie had me check out her baby doll, put her on the scale and inquire about the dollies eating habits. Oliver was over 13 pounds and does not fit on my scale anymore. Amy made me the most beautiful shawl for a present. I named the shawl, " my oliver". The luck rubbed off on me... lucky me!

On July 9th Larah and Coty had their second baby and he was named Taven. Aerowyn is his little sister. Taven was born at home, here in the green Presidio. His birth happened in the middle of the night while most people where sleeping. Everything went perfectly well. There were point of interest but it was a very fast and peaceful event and I felt sooo wonderful afterwards. Like a person feels after a job well done !
Thanks for haning in there Larah and thanks for being such a good strong rock of a support Coty. Your kids are so lucky to have you as parents. who wouldn't want you?

then on July 22nd Vanessa and Joey had their little boy and they named him Bodhi.
He was born in a loft close to the ball park. Both of his parents are fine artists.
Vanessa took her mindfulness meditation very seriously during pregnancy and she was indeed able to meditate through her whole birth, with a little smile on her face.
Incredible girl! There was hardly any talking, a little melodious chanting... that was all and then Bhodi came out. He was in great shape and hungry right away and it seems like he has been eating ever since.

On July 31st, Christine was laboring through the S.F. Marathon, Her moaning and the cheering outside melted together. hard to say which was which. It was another long
birth. Christine and Alex worked very hard and gave it all they had to give and after
nearly 2 days, they had no more to give. That was when their baby girl was finally born. She was born on her fathers side of the bed. he was a very peaceful birth and little Irma was in perfect shape and wanted to eat straight away. it was a little after lunch time after all. For us grown ups, i went into the kitchen and warmed up some of the yummy soup her mother had prepared, while Christine was waiting for labor to begin. It was a treat to spent time with you Christine and Alex and Irma.
Thank you for trusting me and listening to me and letting me help you. I loved every moment of it.

last not least thank you thank you thank you! to my wonderful summer intern Liz.
Without her, I would have had no one to share all of these miracles with. You would have had to be there to believe the miracle of it all.

Currently we are waiting for a few more babies. Stay tuned!
on Sept. 9th I will travel to the Himalayas again to spent a little quality time with my beloved teacher, a Tibetan Lama, Khenpo Ghawang, who will want to hear all about my work adventures.
This year my son Paolo will accompany me and for that reason it will be a very special journey. We will be back October 11th.

Next I will post photos, but I need the help of my kids to complete this task.

Summer Babies

2011-08-22T22:02:00.000-07:00

Sweet Eartha had her little boy Leo in early summer. She was and still is a very courageous single mother of two boys. All of her family lives in another state.
As it turned out it was only me and her at the birth. For that reason we grew quite close to each other and since Leo's birth was very interesting from a midwifery point of view and much longer than expected, Eartha and I spent a long day and night together, sharing stories while labor was still mild and later, when it got quite intense, I gave her hugs and kisses and told her she was doing great. What a sweet strong girl.... and it turns out she is a very talented photographer as well. After Leo's birth, I went into a silent retreat, where we fasted our body speech and mind. Quite a rigorous practice. When I came out, I went straight to see Eartha and Leo and Claes and saw them off onto their long train ride to Ohio.
Eartha was a steady in my mindfulness group and she also completed the yoga teachers training right before Leo was born. Happy I got to be with you Eartha. Thanks for trusting me so much.

The beginning of respectful parenting group

2011-08-22T21:42:00.000-07:00

In June I decided to extended the mindfulness birth and pregnancy support group into a steady early childhood observation group. Most of the folks that have gotten to know each other or heard of each other, are now meeting every 2 weeks with their babies. I am showing up to give the group some structure and offer help to turn our basis of mindfulness meditation into respectful and mindful parenting. There is no cost involved. We meet at a group members house and put out a big blanket for the babies to play or stretch out on out.
Each parent shares something about their child.
We contemplate subjects such as healthy physical development, sleep patterns, eating patterns and our behavior as parents and much more. I absolutely love seeing all these budding parents and awakening children. What a special privilege to be with the children from the earliest time on, the time they were still inside of their mothers bodies.
I am so lucky!!! will take pictures and post next we meet

More Spring Arrivals

2011-08-22T20:57:00.000-07:00

In the joyful month of May Oriana and Steve had a little boy. They named him Oliver.
It was so sweet to be with this little family, maybe because Oriana and Steve are backyard beekeepers in the Mission. It was wonderful to spent a lot of time with this them. Olivers birth was long and Oriana worked hard. Ultimately she had a very peaceful and uncomplicated birth at Kaiser San Francisco and this was where Oriana had planned to deliver her baby all along. She did not want to show up to early and thus we stayed at home for 2 days before we headed over to Kaiser at which point most of the labor had been done at home. Most excellent work Oriana.

Shortly there after Beth and Matt, a couple of circus artists, had their first son
and he was also named Oliver. Being a tightrope walker and Pilates teacher, gave Beth a lot of physical stamina which was crowned by mindfulness training
which gave her all the confidence in the world to say no to interventions and she pushed her 9.5 pound baby out without any trouble at all. I was so impressed by her strength, her grace and her beauty.

At the end of May Krista and John had their little boy. They named him Billy.
Krista had also trained herself in mindfulness meditation and she had a very fast birth, during which she was incredibly focused. John was her "rock".
She called me on a Saturday morning and Billy was born shortly after my arrival in the comfort of their family bed. It was a very harmonious birth. Everything seemed just perfectly aligned. My heart was singing all the way home!

Then Nicki and Shawns little girl was born. She was named Coco.
Coco just had us all waiting and waiting and wondering and waiting.
One day Nicki had enough and wanted to be checked into the hospital for induction.
That is what she wanted and that is what we did. I thought maybe Nicki knew something none of us knew. To make a long story short, there were a few little snags on the road to birth but all rapids were mustered with grace and beauty and a great birth team at UCSF... at the end little COCO was born very normally and she was in perfect shape, ready for a snack. Finally a girl after all these boys!

More activities at the Yoga Garden in SF

2011-05-01T08:16:00.000-07:00

I am guiding and teaching a mindfulness based pregnancy, birth and parenting support group.
It is on going and all are welcome to come and learn through the method of mindfulness training and meditation to be with pain and difficult situations.
We meet every other Saturday and each time we meet we will meditate, share experiences
deepen the practice and discuss a topic such as fear and anxiety expressed through an art project, newborn parenting, breastfeeding, vaccines, post partum etc.
Please check out the Yoga Gardens Website for schedule and the next topic.
Once all the spring babies are born and ready to venture out, we will have a baby reunion
and baby observation. There has been a request to add a VBAC support time. Please let Tracy ( the manager) now if you are interested too and it will happen.

The method of mindfulness training can be tremendously helpful during pregnancy birth and and parenting. Please dont hesitate to explore this method either by asking me or another teacher of mindfulness practices.

Or just look up books on the subject of mindfulness training.
Jon Kabbat Zinn's book Full Catastrophe Living is recommendable.

Spring Babies 2011

2011-05-01T07:24:00.000-07:00

.

VINCENT was born on April 23rd. Vincent is not his only name but he is an East meets West baby and his name is a little complicated and I don't want to butcher it here.
Vincent is the first child of his parents Kaia and Tomasz. His mother will receive the gold metal for grace and beauty and endurance and patience for giving birth to him the way she did. His father met all challenges of his birth with warmth of heart, wisdom and patience. Vincent is lucky to have such exceptional parents after such a long journey down the rainbow bridge. Even his granny made the long journey from Korea to welcome him. It was and is a joy to be there for all of you.

JULIA MOSTOVETSKY was born on April 28th
She is Olga and Joels first baby.Joy had no boundaries when she finally emerged after a
slow and steady labor. After all these long hours of labor work she was born without any trouble at all and no major interventions. She was rosy and cheerful and we all w marveled at her sweet little face and matter of fact behavior.
Olga said: Birth is a humbling experience, Joel said over and over again: I can't believe it. This is wild. Julia might be a tiny little girl but she has a huge appetite. Thank you dear family for letting me help you when you needed it.

Stay tuned there will be a few more spring announcments.
and I should have some photos to share soon.

help!

2011-04-17T16:31:00.000-07:00

there is a story to tell that is not very pretty but nevertheless happening.
What to do? As a community midwife it is a community issue and needs to be discussed as such.
I have been midwife to a VBAC client who had home birth aspiration.
To a point, she was following instructions until the baby turned into a different positions. from side ways to breech to sideways. With the help of acupuncture and moxabustion the baby turned into a head down position. The acupuncture and me explained ay length why the baby needed to be fixated with a belly band in this position until it had descended enough and would be unable to turn back around. The pregnant lady said this was to uncomfortable and also declined further acupuncture treatment to bring the
baby in a more stable position. Thus at our next apptm ( one of 14 ) I found her pelvis"empty) again the baby was sideways again. I told her the danger of this position and that this was an impossible position to birth vaginally. She said she was not worried because she had a strong sense that the baby was actually in the proper position. I asked her to please double check at UCSF with an Ultra Sound. Which she actually did and It comfirmed my finding. At UCSF the doctors made an effort to turn the baby externally but this procedure was a little to intense for her and she asked them to stop the procedure. After this the staff doctors there explained all other safe options. The next morning I got an e mail from here telling me that she expected me to deliver her baby at home in any case... without any intervention.
she said she knew that her baby knew how to be born and that she could do it.
she also told me not to respond to her email but wait until our regular pre natal apptm. My assistant came with me. Well, I clearly explained that I was willing to support her completely provided everybody was safe and that a breech home birth was not safe and not what I do, in particular with her history of c section with the first child.
I asked her to make an apptm with the UCSF doctor Dr. Laros to discuss further option.
I arranged to go with her and her husband down to the daily city office.
as it turned the ultra sound showed that baby was to large to consider for a breech vaginal birth. we discussed the possibility of further using moxa and perhaps another
external version and also the option of going into labor spontaneously before performing a c section. My client started weeping and was very upset.
I asked her to sleep over it and call me when she was ready to talk.
one day later her husband called me and told me they where terminating the midwifery services with me because according to him our agreement was a vaginal home birth.
at numerous occasions I had discussed that one never knows at any birth if the baby will be born in a particular way. she always said she understood and that our agreement was a healthy birth outcome. Now everything looked different.
her husband told me they wanted an unrealistic amount of their money back.
I tried my best to be kind and diplomatic because I could understand their frustration.
I told him however that I do expect to be paid fairly due to services rendered.
I said I will send them an insurance claim to submit to their insurance, just as he asked and will reimburse him the difference due to him out of my pocket.
The problem is that they have a small child and she has no car, so I agreed to do pre natal care as home visits. My little mickey mouse contract says that if we terminate we will agree to the of 150 dollars per visit... which applies to office visits.
I did not make a special arrangement for that in the contract, They also say that I never told them that I only do one home visit at the end to assess readiness.
Also they dont want o pay me for being on call for them for the past 2.5 weeks.
He has been bullying me since yesterday by sending me threatening e mails... that he will take court action if I dont comply and that they will question my integrity and
reliability and would not be able to recommend me to their peers.

My heart is raw. I am devoted to my work and the families I work with.
I am not lawyer who spends all their time thinking about how one could be tricked or how to trick another. Nor do I want to operate without good faith and come from a point of distrust. In order to be good I need to come with an open heart,. this is why folks love me. I know that every barrel will have a bad apple and this is one.
I can not let this get me down. how ever there is the Yelp threat and this has happened to me before things were published about me that can hurt me and my family for no reason at all. Should I just give in because I am afraid of a bully?
who will protect me? Sorry for posting this sad story. there was nothing I could have done differently. I still feel like I should be paid adequately and dont feel like a bully should be supported.... but it takes a group to take care of a bully. right?

The Story of the Terrible Blogger

2011-04-09T19:49:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,
my son just asked me how my blog was doing. Which blog? Oh, THE blog! I have not fed it
in a long time. So here I am now. I have been busy like a proper stork should be during the spring time. Many babies have arrived. many stories to tell.
If you read this and you would like your story published here, please e mail me and I will include you and your family.
For now I will just tell about the last 4 births.
There was Mahas and Alexej's little boy, Nikita. He could have been born at the pan handle in the Golden Gate Park if it wouldn't have been for his Auntie Natasha who came
to fetch Maha and Nikitas older brother Misha in her car. Well after that everything happened very quickly and I drove like a race car driver and made it just in time to help little Nikita out. Even his daddy came just a few minutes to late. It was an incredibly happy birthday for Nikita.

After that Anouka Johanna was born to Monja and Andrew. It was a very gentle and peaceful birth at home in her parents bed but oddly she had a hard time adjusting to extra uterine conditions and we had to ask UCSF for some very good and effective support. Everybody is happy, healthy and adjusting well at home.

Now came Anya and Andre's little boy. He came a week late but when he finally decided to come, he came so fast that he surprised all of us. His daddy delivered him with a little coaching over the phone while I was again breaking all the traffic rules I could break... making a left hand turn on 19th Ave. Running every red light.
But Daniel was fast. Believe it or not he weight 9 pounds and his mother smiled and smiled. His daddy was so proud and happy and Daniel just wanted to eat and go to sleep,

Two days ago little Eliana Louise was born to Dorothea and Thomas Holzwarth. I must mention her big sister Rosa, who is absolutely delighted to kiss her.
Dorothea is a physician herself and used to assist me at births and made the decision to birth her baby at home rather late due to spending much of her pregnancy in germany with her family. Well, Eliana decided to begin her journey at 7:00 in the morning.
Daddy had to bring Rosa to daycare first and Dorothea sat tightly on a chair as not to
make for to quick a birth. When Thomas came back I encouraged her to get up and move a
about a little. At 11:18 a very happy little Eliana was born.

Currently I am waiting for several more babies to be born.
Springtime seems to be the time for much birthing activity.

My other activities have been at the SF Yoga Garden where I am guiding a Mindfulness
based Birth and Parenting preparation support group. We meet every 2nd Saturday from 1:00 to 2:30. I teach the new mothers and sometimes fathers how to meditate and how meditation is a very helpful tool to deal with any situation in particular childbirth
and difficult situations. After we reviewed meditation and meditated a short while,
I usually talk about a topic such as early childhood development. Sometimes we have a guest such as an art therapist, who will work with us on subjects such as fear and anxiety. One time we even decided to make belly casts. Generally we enjoy ourselves
and have a little fun. Hopefully some of the mothers and their babies will come as guests soon. I think the other mothers could learn this or that.
Recently I've been asked to start a VBAC support group. VBAC means vaginal birth after C-section. We will pu it on the program as soon as the Yoga garden manager, Tracy, can get to it.

On a personal note, I am continuing my own meditation practice in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. My own 5 kids are a thriving bunch and I am enormously grateful to them.
They keep me joyfully on my toes. I am still curious to learn what I can about all kinds of practical matters from them. Most of them are teenagers now I can not say that the teenage years have been particularly difficult in this household.i
This is all I have to say today. It is getting late and in my line of work one never knows what will happen next. right? It would be wise to get some sleep.

Pepper Rose Jones is happy to meet the world

2010-08-16T14:34:00.001-07:00

August 5th 2010 birth of Pepper Rose Jones

2010-08-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

With joy and happiness I am announcing the peaceful arrival of Pepper Rose Jones
She was born at 10:56 on August 5th 2010 weighing in at exactly 8 pounds.
Her mother, Kimberley Jones, gave birth to her in the comfort of her home.
Her grandmother Sharon and honorary auntie Rachel welcomed her into the world.
Happy birthday Pepper Rose! and congratulations Kimberley.
Pictures and complete birth story are to follow.

midwifery Today Marsden Wagner

2010-08-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

Open Hearts Traditional Hands Midwifery Service http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/technologyinbirth.asp
Technology in Birth: First Do No Harm - by Marsden Wagner
www.midwiferytoday.com
Cesarean section can save the life of the mother or her baby. Cesarean section can also kill a mother or her baby. How can this be?

Do You Doula?

2010-08-02T20:11:00.000-07:00

Did you ever hear the word" Monitrice"? What does a midwife do?

2010-07-16T19:09:00.000-07:00

Just fell upon this new word while doing other research

By Definition a Monitrice is... a midwife who assists a woman who wants to deliver in the hospital.

For example:
Some women choose to labor at home until labor is well established.
In this case, they hire a midwife to have an experienced and legally responsible
care provider monitor the baby s and the mothers vital signs and the progress of labor. someone experienced, who can quickly determine if labor is normal and who could deal with all the surprises of childbirth.

Getting used to a new profile name " Monitrice"

over the past 25+ years the word midwife expressed my professional contend well enough. On the other hand, maybe the creation of this new word will help
new parents keep their notes straight.

I understand that midwifery training differs from many other countries.
In many European countries, the professional profile of a labor and delivery nurse, does not exist. There are only Midwives. Midwives here and there are trained to assist women on all issues related to the childbearing years. She is a doctor of sorts, a nurse, a doula, a lactation consultant, a parenting consultant, fertility consultant. The idea behind this model is to increase continuity and safety .
As part of ones sexual life, birth is a private process, which requires a trusting
relationship in the folks assisting a birthing mother.

reproductive health consultant

film trailer to the Business of being born

2010-07-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

A trailer for 'The Business of Being Born' documentary - making comparisons between medicalised deliveries and... http://fb.me/vjKf5AAR

Invitation..

2010-07-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

please visit my facebook page at sfmidwifery

Birthpreparation Workshop

2010-07-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

I want to thank all the lovely young mothers that came over to my house today
to learn about the physiology of body and mind in labor.
It warmed my heart to hear each of you express yourself and I enjoyed working with you.

Here is another film that is worth seeing... the title might be a bit much
Please see it!What is Orgasmic Birth? | Orgasmic Birth
www.orgasmicbirth.com

while waiting for the summer babies to arrive.....

2010-07-10T15:16:00.000-07:00

sfmidwifery.com http://www.osher.ucsf.edu/pdfs/MBCP-PDTT_Brit%20J%20of%20Midwifery_%20published2009.pdf

this is a link to an article posted in the British Journal of Midwifery
in regards to mindfulness skills and coping with pain during pregnancy and labor
please copy and paste.

I have been spending a lot of time at the Yoga Garden in San Francisco, teaching a
mindfulness based birth and parenting preparation workshop.

I also polished my Yoga teaching skills by taking the pre natal yoga teachers training.
so now, after many hours of limbering up in a mindful way, I am ready to teach another mindfulness based birth and parenting workshop. This time at my house, in the lovely Presidio of San Francisco.

In case you want to watch a film about birth, babies and new beginnings

here is my most recent favorite, "Babies"

here a current favorite " The business of being born"

two long time favorites, but more for the heart than educational

"Like Water for Chocolate"

" The Story of the Weeping Camel"

Stay tuned and enjoy everything summer has to offer...

Veronika's Story of Mindfulness Training

2010-06-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

During my pregnancy, mindfulness practice served as a way to tune into my body, helping me to be present in my experience. In using the body scan I learned to acknowledge physical sensations- often discomfort. In tuning into the sensation I often became aware of my resistance to it, which in turn created more discomfort. I discovered that when I released into the sensation using my breath, often the discomfort subsided or I became better able to deal with it. Turning inward in this way also helped me to be present for my baby and to appreciate our shared space and the brief and special time we were sharing in.

In continually returning to my breath as a means to center and cleanse I built a skill that became crucial for my labor experience. By understanding that resistance and fear would make my labor more difficult, I used mindfulness to keep my head just above the water of a labor that seemed like one very long and large crashing wave. If I was not able to remain in the moment and be focused on the task of keeping my head above the water, I would have succumbed to my fear, doubt, exhaustion, and pain. These thoughts and sensations were with me, I noticed them and allowed them their place in my experience but did not let them take root or dominate. Instead I committed to the moment, one after the other, and breathed my way through.

Now that the work of labor has made way for that of parenting, I use mindfulness as a way to stay in tune with myself, my child and with my partner. Being mindful helps me to cherish the moments I have with my son that pass so quickly. Rather than being bogged down by routine or what could be a chore, being present in the moment allows me to share in the joy of my son's smile while diapering him or feeling deeply connected while nursing. Mindfulness practice also helps me to notice when my fatigue is affecting my communication with my partner or my ability to connect with my child, and cues me that I need to take care of myself. Mindfulness as a practice is a tool that helps me to redirect myself and to reflect on thoughts, feelings and actions.

Erin 's Testimonial of a Mindful Birth

2010-06-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

Throughout my pregnancy, a regular yoga and meditation practice kept my body and mind calm, present, and free from fear. I knew I would need to be calm and strong in both body and mind during labor if I wanted to give birth at home without medication or interventions. Moving mindfully and connecting with my breath each day allowed me to slow down and pay attention to the baby inside of me. Some days it was easier than others to remember that my "to do" list was not nearly as important as preparing for birth and motherhood. But every day I practiced, I felt ready for the challenges ahead.

In the last month before my son was born, especially as we neared and then passed our "due date", I found fears popping up in my mind. What if the baby isn't healthy? What if something goes wrong during labor? What if I have to transfer to the hospital? What if we can't get in touch with our midwife? What if...what if...what if? I knew these doubts and fears were a creation of my mind and not helpful to me in any way, so I had to let them go somehow. But how? I didn't want to ignore them...or hide them deep inside...but simply "letting go" seemed impossible at the time. I needed a way to face and transform them.

I decided I had to get serious with my meditation. Instead of my usual Zen practice of simply sitting, of letting the thoughts rise and fall like the breath (which is a serious and powerful practice!), at this time in my life I needed something more tangible. I picked up my 108-beaded mala and used the Sanskrit phrase I learned in yoga training as I passed over each bead...Om dum Durgayei Namaha. Over...and over...and over...108 times...honoring Durga, the warrior aspect of the Divine Mother. Seemed like a good fit for a pregnant woman. Feminine power, strong warrior goddess, incarnation of the Divine Mother. But nevertheless, in between each sacred word, my mind was still thinking, and the fears were still lurking.

One evening, around my 38th week of pregnancy, I sat on my cushion, feeling unsettled as my husband meditated serenely next to me. As my mind jumped around from tasks to worries to replaying the days events, I felt frustrated by my apparent inability to meditate. But then a helpful thought arose...What if the "mantras" I focus on come from me, in plain English? What if I just make up things that will help me? And there I found my power, my energy, my resolve to banish fear from labor and birth completely. I started using the endless activity of my mind to create positive affirmations with every breath. Sometimes, I wasn't even convinced that I believed what I was saying, but each time the words rolled through my mind, more doubts melted away.

Inhale...My baby is alive and well...exhale...My body knows how to birth this baby...inhale...My baby will come when he is ready...exhale...My body will open to make room...inhale...I know I can handle the strength of labor...exhale...My baby is in the perfect position and knows just what to do to be born...inhale...Birth is as natural as breathing...exhale...No one can control my mind during labor but me...inhale...Billions of women have given birth without medication...exhale...I am biologically primed to give birth...And on and on. I began meditating like this whenever I could...out for a walk, in the car, lying awake in bed, and of course on my cushion. When an unhelpful thought arose, I was ready to match it with a useful one.

On February 5th, I got up in the morning like it was any other day, except soon after I got out of bed, my water broke...followed closely by the first contraction. Looking back, at that important moment, I was completely free from fear! I was ready to face any challenge that might present itself during labor. Although I couldn't control what was happening in my body, I felt totally present and in control of my mind. Early labor was exciting and manageable...I walked around the house, chatted with my husband, even cleaned up a bit in that first hour. I would stop to experience a contraction...breathing, leaning, moaning, etc. And then labor progressed more quickly than I could have ever imagined. Forget the walk in the park, the shower, the cuddling during rests. In what seemed like no time at all (and in actuality was only a few hours), contractions were incredible and I was nearing the famous "transition" stage of labor. I started meditating. I just happened.

I was on the bed with my face buried in a pillow, holding on to my husband for a sense of grounding and support. Each contraction would take me further inward. Had I repressed my fears during that late stage of pregnancy, I would have been coming face to face with them during that inward journey. Thanks to my practice, I was primed to meditate instead. And that's what I found myself doing through each strong contraction - without thinking about it, without trying. The faint ache in my back would grow stronger into pain and my body felt completely overwhelmed...but my mind was calm. I am okay...I can do this...this is natural...and another contraction...this is just the baby moving down...this pain is useful...everything is perfect....and again...soften, release, surrender...again...down down down...open open open...again...relax, breath, smile...again...I love you, baby...I am ready...I am doing this!...

And finally, I felt the urge to push, which quickly snapped me out of my inward trance. I was ready to work, to push, to breath...whatever I needed to do. I had survived the hardest part and knew I was almost there! And when our midwife suggested I do some short coughing pushes to slow things down, I tried my best but burst out laughing. So, with a bit more laughter and a few strong pushes, our son emerged. I pulled him onto my belly, held him close, and felt immense joy. There was no room for fear that day. Only love. In a short 6 hours, our son transformed me from a pregnant woman into a mother, and I am so thrilled that I was aware and present during the process. I can't imagine laboring in any other way. Although I have yet to get back into a formal practice, spontaneous meditation helps me keep fear and worry at bay as a new mother. Of course I don't always remember to practice, and worries do pop up. If I am mindful, however, I know I have the mental tools needed to transform my fears into something useful - like motherly love

Sara's Experience of Mindfulness Training

2010-06-11T12:41:00.000-07:00

Mindfulness has been a tremendous ally not only during our pregnancy and childbirth, but also as a first time parent. During my pregnancy the mindfulness training provided by both Angelika and the Mindful Labor and Parenting class significantly influenced me literally over a period of months. The practice of being present, listening, and being aware of my surroundings, my mental state, physical state and life as a whole gave me tools to become calmer, more thoughtful, more present in my relationships and my body. I literally felt like my energy settled to a lower level and the myriad of thoughts, ideas, concerns, etc. that spiraled around my existence slowed down and were more manageable. I definitely feel that the mindfulness training helped me be a healthier and more consciences mother to our unborn child and, as Angelika, will tell you, I think my state of being impacted our little one as she was with me constantly and, I assume, could sense my emotions, responses, and must have at least impart received the chemicals my body produced as I interacted with the world around me. I think being a calmer person myself was healthier for our child. Increased mindfulness also made me feel overall happier as I felt like I slowed down and appreciated things more than I did before; took less things for granted in life and celebrated them more.

In labor mindfulness was absolutely essential. The formal training that Angelika and the class recommended was very important and I was very thankful that I had taken their advice and meditated almost daily for the previous couple months. My personal experience was that having utter and complete trust in Angelika ensuring that our baby's arrival would be safe and that she was more than qualified to make any and all necessary decisions and that she wouldn't hesitate to do what was best for the baby really helped me to let go of potential concerns and to focus on being mindful of my body and focusing (and listening to my coaches :). I could definitely feel the difference emotionally and physically when I was being mindful during labor and when I wasn't- when I wasn't being mindful a sense of being overwhelmed, pain, and fear would well up and I would do whatever I could to get back 'in front' of the contractions and be mindful where the pain was bearable, where I wasn't thinking of anything, and I was 'riding the wave'. Although painful and the most physically demanding challenge I have ever experienced, I overall feel like it was a beautiful, powerful and positive experience with 12 hours of labor for my first child and I largely attribute that to the mindfulness training and practice that my confidence and trust in the people around me allowed me to move into.

As a parent I absolutely use mindfulness and am amazed by it's power to make each experience beautiful and to be present with our daughter. I think the mindfulness practice (and continued practice) has really deepened my experience as a parent and to be a better parent as I learn every day. I feel like I see things and appreciate them so much more than ever before in my life...just being with my daughter and having nothing else in my thoughts...the expressions, laughs, watching her sleep, listening to her breathing, watching her work through things, being there for each little thing that she learns and tries- I feel incredibly privileged to be in a place where I can be a witness to such an incredible little being and process. As a first time (and very proud :) parent without much experience with babies I obviously have a very bias perspective, but, best I can tell she is a very happy, confident, thoughtful little being that works hard to figure things out, is very determined, is not 'colicky' by any means, and is a real joy to get to have the pleasure to spend time with. She is great at nursing, hasn't had any illnesses, colds, or even much of a diaper rash. I am not a prenatal physiologist either, but, I can't say I disagree with Angelika's assertion that prenatal physiology impacts the personality and health of a child- I certainly think that being mindful is very healthy for children even before they are born and makes for a healthier environment for them to be in as babies. I have also noticed that our daughter is very in touch with how I am interacting with the world around me. There was a handful of days in particular that stand out when I was aware that I am not being as mindful as I would like to be about life after when we traveled on a red-eye to the East Coast for a work trip with my husband and I was exhausted and took a couple of days to adjust. She definitely picked up on it and her behavior changed and she seemed less happy, relaxed, more needy, cried more than we've seen before or since, etc. I found that once I got some more sleep and was able to be more mindful, her mood mirrored mine and we were back to her being happy and relaxed. The aforementioned made me an even stronger believer in the importance of being mindful and continuing to beware and make decisions are conducive to being mindful for my daughter's sake. I absolutely think that mindfulness and my state of mind is intuitively understood and responded to by my daughter so I am very thankful for the mindfulness training I had and feel strongly about continuing to bring myself back to practicing as much as I can.

Without equivocation the mindfulness I have learned and practiced thus far is just barely like a drop of water in the ocean, and I have an almost infinite amount to learn and improve upon over my life time...it has been so powerful, joyful and positive thus far in my/our life that I definitely look forward to a life long of learning more about it and striving to practice it each day as a gift not only to my daughter, but also to myself, my family, and the world around us.

Emmy's story of mindfulness during labor and parenting

2010-06-11T12:26:00.000-07:00

When I was stressing out that I didn't have time to go to yoga or exercise during my second pregnancy, Angelika gently reminded me that the most useful thing I could do was to practice meditating. I'm not a regular practitioner of meditation, but I learned how to clear my mind through my on-again-off-again yoga practice through the years. For me, labor requires an almost exclusively inward focus -- focusing on breathing and working through my thoughts, pains and fears. With my first birth, everything was unknown and new as it happened but meditation allowed me to take each challenge as it came. Our second son was born at home, and it was a more lucid experience. Because I had an idea of what my labor would feel like, I was able to concentrate on managing the pain. I knew exactly where I was through all the phases, and felt in control through the entire process. During transition, when I felt like I had reached my limit and was starting to feel a little afraid of the pain, I was able to regain control of my thoughts and calm myself. The ability to calm the chatter in your mind and to be conscious of what you are experiencing physically and mentally is very powerful. It allows you to choose how you want to experience something.

Meditation has also helped me get through tough situations and manage my attitude as a parent -- changing your perspective is often easier than trying to change the situation. I've meditated through many difficult times: breastfeeding pain in the first few weeks, being sleep deprived and trying to soothe a crying newborn, handling frustrating toddler situations, and in general adapting to the change in lifestyle. Taking a deep breath or a few minutes to reset yourself can make all the difference in the world.

Tyler James born on May 12th 2010

2010-05-18T17:45:00.000-07:00

Oh boy... I am so glad I finally made it. This was a long journey.
Lily and Ryan.... those are my folks, were really really happy to see me.
they made me feel right at home: even though they must have been exhausted, just
like me, from waiting for me for three days. I must say though, I had a very
special welcoming crowd at UCSF . everybody lined up to meet me.
Like a Royal reception. well, now I have to get to work and do my job.
got to get busy eating, resting, eating, resting and getting ready for the night.
when my folks are eager to play with me.

I have arrived may 11th 2010 06:06

2010-05-18T17:34:00.000-07:00

Hi there,

I guess my parents are either too sleep-deprived or too happy – anyways, they don’t seem to get to their e-mail these days. So I decided to take control of things: may I introduce myself?

I am 51.5cm (20.25in) “tall”, and my birthweight was 3650g (8lb 3 oz). I am doing great, as are my Mom and Dad.

Anyways, enough said for now. I have to turn my focus to the essentials – eating, digesting (no details), and sleeping. Maybe growing a little bit. And training my vocal cords, for sure. However, my parents told so much about you these past nine months, I couldn’t wait to say hello.

2010-04-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

"Praise and blame,
gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow
come and go like the wind.

To be happy, rest like a great tree
in the midst of them all."

--from the Buddha's Little Instruction Book

What used to delight my ego: getting a call at lunch time of a lady in labor,
showing up 20 minutes later, her eyes wide. I am gently talking to her.

"It's okay darling.everything is good, the baby is fine. You are doing so well and the baby is almost here, catch up with yourself and rest up for a moment".

Then the baby slips out.

A beautiful birth. I receive many thanks: a giftcertificate , yet I have done almost
nothing

The next birth is long and difficult. Walking, comforting, spooning in bed
cleaning up vomit, trying to turn the baby into a better position, walking again,
talking, caressing. listening to confessions in the dark, I respond "everything is just fine honey, just rest up for a minute.".

In the morning her mother comes, just in time to come with us to the hospital. I don't know what she sees when she is looking at me, but I know its nothing good. There is a family dynamic, thick and painful to witness. The baby emerges via c section after a 28 hour labor, and that was after 3 days of early labor.

A mosquito will see food when it sees me
My baby will see home
My lover will see the object of his desire
so whatever it is we are seeing
we should at least consider that it might just be a reflection of
something that is most prevalent in our own mind in that moment.

I have done everything. I have done everything good and right and then some. But I was sacrificed.

I have been a midwife for 28 years. I knew after the first 10 years that all of this praise and blame business is to be taken very lightly. I have to feel like I did the best I could in each given situation, after that, I can rest assured that all was well done.

so far all wanted love more than anything. The unconditional kind, and the part in them that wanted that so badly is the softest spot. often it has been guarded for years.
booby trapped and landmined.

Alas, love is messy indeed. your heart might break.

I am still going strong, only sometimes a little afraid of the messy side , though at times I feel a little tired. Must be the body getting older, my mind getting younger

We can only do our best, and in the end, that is all that we were asked to do.

may goodness and love increase

Neil Louis born on october 25th 2009

2010-04-30T13:54:00.000-07:00

so so sorry ..sometimes I am to busy to stay with all the blog entries
and so it came to pass that I forgot to enter little Neil. thank you justine for noticing all the way from your new abode in switzerland.
Neil started his travels down the rainbow bridge in the wee morning hours of
october 25th 2009 and slid right out into the world... no fuss, no muss... just in time for breakfast. His mommy Justine and Daddy Patrick were delighted to say the least
and his spirited two year old sister (Joanna) hardly knew what to do with all that excitement.

Lana and Steve are welcoming their son Shawn

2010-04-26T10:38:00.000-07:00

On April 23rd, after a marathon birth little Shawn was welcomed into the world
at UCSF . His mother will stay in my memory for her incredible stamina and willpower
and of course the kindness in her eyes. His dad like daddy bear... steady and
balanced. Shawn peering at the world with one eye opened... almost like he wanted to say... is it time already? are you sure I need to wake up now? okay then...
again and again i want to say... ALL MOTHERS ARE HEROES
we dont have a picture jet..but I will add it as soon as it comes in.

mediation during childbirth worked for Emmy and Tyson

2010-04-26T10:12:00.000-07:00

Tyson Steele was born on April 13th.
Born very peacefully in his parents bedroom. labor started right after breakfast and
he was there just in time for lunch. His Brother Jameson was at school and his grand pa was right there... ready to welcome him with warmed up blankets.
the two family cats seemed to be awaiting him as well right outside the bedroom door.
His very happy parents are Emmy Huang and Jameson Leadbetter sen. of the Leadbetter bakery in San Francisco.

Emerson

2010-04-13T17:03:00.000-07:00

Molly and Matt's little girl was born on April 6th 2010 at 02:06 in the morning.
After keeping her parents (and midwife) on their toes for several days...
never knew if she actually meant to come now or if it would all slow down again and we would all sleep another night. well... once she had made up her mind that the time was right and she was ready, she was born quite swiftly in a most natural way.
fabulous job... Molly! Last I heard from new dad a few days ago was that he was loving
being a new Dad. welcome with love Emerson.

scarlett born on the 23rd of March

2010-04-09T21:21:00.000-07:00

Well... scarlett made the perfect entrance. Exactly according to her parents wishes.
Sarah baked cookies for most of the day and Rob timed the contractions.
the cookies were done and labor took a turn. A turn that took Sarah to her hands and knees actually... but still happily bobbing along.
No drugs needed... and Scarlett is a little beauty, I am sure you all agree.

2010-04-09T21:07:00.000-07:00

this is Veronica with her little cherub of a baby boy.
He was born on March 24th 2010. Year of the Tiger.
funny, because his mom was a tiger in labor.
very determined and clear in her instruction.
Leave me alone! and nobody will get hurt.
so... she moved through a not very easy labor
and never ever lost sight of her goal.
childbirth without fear and without drugs.
blessings in abundance

2010-02-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

on February 5th little Bodhin, son of Pete and Erin Zaremba, was born at 13:02
His mother laughed and laughed and laughed until he was almost completely born..
then she reached down and helped him out the rest of the way.
all of us present, to welcome him.. sang happy birthday straight away.
I was pleased and asked where the birthday cake was...

Sara and Kyles birth story

2010-01-27T21:04:00.000-08:00

......
"Our midwife, Angelika is amazing and we love her and she was perfect! Her calm, knowledgeable presence, clear direction, and just who she is was just awesome... I tried really hard to do exactly what she said and she took amazing care of our process, us, and our daughter- I felt so thankful for her and we know you guys will too!!!!!"

Our labor experience:
Sara's water broke at 1:56 AM on Tuesday. 2:15 the contractions commeced. She started laboring in bed while sleeping (or making every attempt to) until around 4AM. Curiously enough, her contractions were immediately 5 minutes apart (start-to-start) and 60 seconds in duration. At 4AM the contractions became significantly stronger and we started the mindful & coached laboring - moving from bed, to tub, to the vertical position in frequent rotation. We found that walking around the house was by far the most accomodating, made for an easier labor, AND accelerated the contractions from 3 minutes start-to-start vice 5. At 8AM Sara was only dilated to 2cm, but her contractions were 2 minutes apart and now 60-90 seconds in duration! She continued to labor with contractions of increasing intensity (and still 2 minutes apart) for another 7 hours until approx 1PM, when she went into "transition". We thought it was a bit unusual that Sara spent 6 hours with contractions that were 2 minutes apart, but it sure seemed to accelerate the process! Maybe the 4-5 hours of walking that Sara did daily helped in that, but who knows for sure....

It was tough work, with only 30-60 seconds off between each contraction, but during this whole period Sara did absolutely MARVELOUSLY! She's my hero. She practiced mindfulness and was completely "in a zone" throughout the whole experience, hardly giving any indications of pain whatsoever. If it wasn't for the experience of our midwife, we wouldn't have even known Sara was in transition - she was so focused and stoic through it. Curiously, even though we found massages and the body scan to be most effective in class, focusing on breathing definitely became our paramount "method of mindfulness" as the contractions became stronger. I would set a sample breathing pace for her right by her ear, and she would emulate it. If she let any noise out, we'd remind her to relax her vocal chords and say "no noise, don't fight it, breathe through it" (we found that tensing the vocal chords and making niose "fought" the contractions, making them more uncomfortable for Sara). Sara recounts that "not thinking about ANYTHING except for breathing & the immediate contraction" helped. From her account "If I thought about the NEXT contraction, the one I was having would be much worse." Mentally she kept telling herself "ride the wave, ride the wave" - a reminder that each contraction got easier after hitting the peak.

At around 1:30PM, Sara started "active participation" (as our midwife called it), pushing through the contractions..... and, at 2:54, our little Addison Adeline was born. Momma and baby are doing fantastic and we're ecstatic & loving being parents! The whole world has taken on a bit of a different meaning to us. For one, things are happening a bit 'slower' in our lives... we're not in a hurry to get anywhere or do anything... and that this is "OK" is very cathartic. For another, I've learned that being rescue helicopter pilot is NOT the coolest job in the world (being a Dad is!). And... I've also learned that I have the toughest wife in the world... 12.5 hrs of labor, MOSTLY at 2 minute contractions, and she was a modern day samurai through it... she's definitely my hero!

Thanks for everything Angelika. We could NOT have done it without you!

Love & positive thoughts,
Sara, Kyle & Addison

... and hello to the first homebirth baby of the year

2010-01-20T15:47:00.000-08:00

A little chubby cherub girl was born on January 12th 2010. ( 1st baby...8 lbs 10oz.)
Her name is going to be Addison . Gosh.. I don't know where to start... who should I talk about first.
her mothers glorious birth work... her fathers stable support... her grandmothers Bradley Method
or her grandfathers great skills in holding the whole boat with love and calm?
Incredibly lovable family... I must say. anybody would want to be born there. so, Addi... I think you
got what you may have been looking for. oh and not to forget the two dogs and the loving cat.

Last Baby of the Year 2009

2010-01-20T15:36:00.000-08:00

we didn't really know when to expect little West because he had many estimated dates of arrival.
Finally he showed up on December 27th. He is joining his parents Becky Bart and Kater Murch
over in Berkeley... where they live in a little house and a mini farm. chickens, rabbits and many
yummy vegetables. His daddy kept a fire going to keep mommy and baby toasty.
Best post partum set up of the year and West is the lucky boy...because not only do his parents
grow their own food... it gets better... his grandparents own a farm a Bolinas.
Happy Birthday dear little WEST!

Leon Maximilian Redlich

2009-12-16T23:20:00.000-08:00

On Saturday the 12th of december Leon Maximilan Redlich was born.
His mother Ute is tenderly holding her little baby boy ... gazing at him so tenderly, I have to think of mother Marylooking upon the little baby Jesus. well, I guess its christmas time . when I saw Leon yesterday he looked exactly like his daddy Sanford. Wait till I have a picture to post

2009-12-16T22:59:00.000-08:00

Ohh No! i forgot to announce Henrys birth.
Little Henry was born on October 30th at Kaiser hospital in San Francisco.
His was quite an interesting birth. we... that is his birth helpers, held our breath
until he was finally looking at us face to face. It took him a little while and a lot of talking to, to figure out how to twist his head into the bony structure of his moms
pelvis... but hey and yooreih, he figured it out after all and came out in perfect condition. Of course his mother Emily and his dad Tim felt like dancing and singing with joy if it wouldn't have been way past their bedtime when he finally appeared.
P.S. a picture is missing because I didnt receive one jet... but let me assure you folks... he is a very cute sight

Short and Sweet

2009-12-16T22:47:00.000-08:00

On Whitney St. in Oakland, on Friday December fourth two thousand and nine, a stork stopped by delivering a healthy, beautiful little boy, Theodore. The baby is doing fantastically well, sleeping and nursing and sleeping and nursing. The big brother, Adrian kisses him regularly to make "baby Teo (h)appy" .
Rejoice with us by sending this great news and little picture to all people that want to share in our blessing- we know it is a big task for us and want to include everyone! so, spread the news!
the Halls

more birthstories, pictures, testimonials

2009-11-18T10:52:00.000-08:00

Lisas story

I would like to announce the birth of our second child Ferdinand Francis on July 27th 2009. And again, it was an amazing, empowering, smooth, intense experience for me as a midwife, a woman and a mother. Angelika took care of me for the second time. And I am really happy and thankful for having her by my side again. And Ferdl, that's how we call him, is a very mellow guy that fits perfect in our little family.

I met Angelika three years ago and started working with her right away. Her knowledge, experience, power, strength, calmness, stamina, open ear and much more overwhelmed me from the first second on. I am very thankful that I met her right after my arrival in the Bay Area. I could assist her as a second midwife for many many gentle and warm births in the last three years.
Luzie, our first child was born in October 2007. This birth was very easy and beautiful. However, me and my husband Tony were glad having Angelika on our side. She gave us enough space just for us, but there were a few moments where she gave the right guidance and power. She led us in the transition becoming a family with all her own knowledge, perfect for a first time mother and first time parents.
=
overwhelmed me from the first second on. I am very thankful that I met her right after my arriving in the Bay Area. I could assist her as a second midwife for many many gentle and warm births in the last three years.

Biancas story

It was two days before my due date. The baby had dropped the week before on my way back from a trip to Santa Cruz, so I knew the time was close. I went into labor around midnight. It felt like menstrual cramps at first, nothing serious, but something was certainly going on. I wanted to wait as long as possible before I called anyone and tried to sleep in between contractions but couldn’t. As soon as I laid down, I would have another contraction and want to get up again. And I couldn’t stay laying down through a contraction. So, instead I would rest in between contractions which were about two minutes apart, and then get up and walk to the bathroom and back. I called Angelika around 5 or 6 am and she said that I was still in early labor and to go back to bed. A few minutes later I called her back and said that my contractions seemed really close together. And she said that while they were close together, I could still speak clearly, and they didn’t last that long so I wasn’t in active labor and still had awhile to go. Angelika suggested that I have my sister come over because I was probably lonely and wanted some comfort. So I called my sister Jessica who rushed over and then Angelika arrived at around 7:30, and then my friend Seferina arrived sometime after that. When Angelika first checked my progress I was dilated to 7cm. I kept walking from the bedroom to the bathroom, and tried leaning on Angelika, Seferina, or Jessica during contractions, but mostly I just paced slowly or sat on the toilet in the bathroom.

Around 11am I was fully dilated and it was time to push, but when I did the contraction was so strong, and the pressure was so painful that it shocked me. I know that you can’t really control giving birth and you need to “open” and “relax,” but I was scared. I was able to mentally prepare for the opening of the cervix, but I could not imagine that a baby was going to come out of me. We had looked at diagrams, talked about it, and so on, but it was unfathomable. I couldn’t visualize it or mentally prepare for it. So when it came time to push, and I got a sense of what that was going to be like, I had to take some time out and prepare.

During my pregnancy I watched a documentary called the “Business of Being Born,” and the water births had looked so easy that I wanted to take bath at some point during my labor, so that’s what I did. When I was in the bathroom the contractions kept coming and when I felt one I would push, but not too hard. I had needed to go to the bathroom too, so I was able get out of the bath and take care of that too. I was in the bath for about two hours. Sitting in the bath I tried to relax as much as possible. Angelika had explained that if you were in a position that was comfortable you weren’t making any progress because the baby was not coming down. I finally realized that I was going to have to cause myself a lot of pain to push the baby out.

The next time my sister came to check on me I told her that I was ready to start pushing again and that I wanted to be on the floor. My bed had seemed too soft, and I didn’t feel like I could get enough leverage. So on the floor we were and at first I only wanted Angelika in the room because I was feeling self-conscious, but then both my sister and Seferina were there because we needed help with something or other and at the point I didn’t mind. At another point, Angelika told me that Melisse’s head was right there and to reach down and touch her, and I did, but I still couldn’t believe that she was going to come out. I still couldn’t really believe there was a baby that was going to come out of me. But I had to have faith and I kept pushing. After about twenty minutes of pushing, screaming, and pain, Melisse was born. I thought she might be a squished and wrinkled baby, but she wasn’t at all. She had a round head and round full checks. She was perfect and beautiful. I was amazed.

Afterwards, my friend Seferina said that it was amazing to see the look of extreme pain on my face change to a huge calm smile as soon as I saw Melisse. My sister said that watching me give birth showed her how incredibly powerful women could be and she wondered how or why it was that more women didn’t rule the world. For me, I was and am so glad that I got to give birth in the way I wanted too.

Christina and Lyric..... to make a long story short

Ever so happy to introduce to the world, Lyric Jade Graessle-Ramirez. Born on the first day of Virgo 8/23/09. 8lbs 7oz. After an active labor lasting under 3 hours we finally met this little angel. Lyric has brought a whole new meaning to our life. Thank you Angelika for all you have said and done.

Karin and Amelia

Amelia was supposed to be born at home but the it turned out that I found her
bottoms down on one of our pre natal visits. we then made all efforts to help her turn on her head... Dr. Xu.. the blessed acupuncturist tried her best.
Karin tried her best doing all kinds of exercises and moxabustions.
Amelia did not turn. So we all went to UCSF to give the Docs a chance to try to rotate her from the outside. Karin was such a trooper through all this.
Amelia did not budge. Now Karin decided to try for a vaginal birth in the hospital
in spite the breech position... all went well until active labor started and the
doctors shift was over. now there was nobody there who would support and be able to
deliver a vaginal breech presentation and so, Amelia was born via C-section.
But all is well now. Amelia is a very very good natured child and oh my goodness
so pretty.
there were tiny little bumps to mommy bliss....
I ve decided to extend my midwifery help and turned now into a night nurse for Amelia. She has just started to learn how to REALLY break into a smile when she wakes up.

2009-10-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

Happy to announce the birth of Samuel Chua. He joined his big brother Ben and his sister Edie on September 18th at 15:45 . His Parents Renee and Brian were delighted
when he showed up... finally... after two days of stop and go labor...he made a dash for it and was born rather swiftly, after all. His grandmother was outside, on the porch.she heard him arrive and came into the room real quick to welcome him as well.
The attached pictures show the first meeting of the siblings... in one of the pictures... there is samuel and next to him, a little, tiny flower that Edie had picked for her mom.

behavioral measures to keep the flu at bay

2009-10-05T10:32:00.001-07:00

because a number of my clients are confronted with the question of the pros and cons of this seasons flu vaccine, i want to take the opportunity to put forth a little reminder on the many highly effective measures pregnant mothers and mothers of small
children can take to stay safe and healthy during the flu season which is almost upon us.

first of all notice that with the change of season our bodies require a different kind of care. warmer clothing and warmer food... as not to waste energy and compromising our internal heating/cooling system. eat seasonally. its time for soups and stews and orange colored vegetables, (squashes, sweet potatoes ) avoid cold drinks and cold foods.

go to bed early and don't over work. exercise in moderation but regularly.
walks and hikes in fresh air are very beneficial. try to keep a good mental hygiene,
but i guess this is a whole new subject. to keep this short.. try to engage in things that promote a happy feeling... how about singing? just to name one.
and the golden rule of never going to sleep with discord or anything other than love
on your mind. its not as difficult as you think.

next... make sure you wash you hands a lot and keep a little bottle of sanitizer in your pocket ( and use it) also gargle frequently... when you know "bugs" are in the
air. either with salt water or Listerine ( which really does kill germs on contact
and it tastes like it too).

next do take your pre natal vitamins and take them through the nursing period as well. if you can help it.. avoid hanging out in large crowds of people when your pregnant or have a small child or baby. think ahead!

lastly.. i want to introduce a supplement to you, which kept me completely healthy
during my India trip. Transfer factor. its a molecule isolated from cow colostrum... its an incredible product that can do many good things.
i am happy to order it for you and answer any questions you might have in regards to it.

stay healthy... hatschuuuu ( only joking)
best wishes
Angelika

P.S.

we did a little research on yes or no to the flu vaccine.
cross checked American and European references and couldn't really say anything
completely conclusive. some say you must some say not really..some say be careful
with the vaccine in pregnancy.
so its up to very personal discretion.

i think one should consider the health status one is starting out with
and the other factor to throw into the decision making process is the amount
one is exposed ... i.e. your area of work.

it is not a one fits all solution. whats good for your neighbor might be the
opposite for you. right?

Forest Woo... proud baby of Angela Miller and Michael Woo

2009-04-24T18:50:00.000-07:00

Born on April 17th 2009 at 01:45
after trying everything under the sun to "talk" him into
showing his round little face... he too decided to sprint
at the end of this marathon birth.
... and oh boy, his mother and father were as happy as they
were exhausted. well, its all fun and giggles now
and forest has turned into a little milkshark.

finally... a girl

2009-04-24T18:32:00.000-07:00

Eva-Lucia Sarina Amira Farah born on April 6th 2009 at 18:54
here proud parents are Alicia and Hosain.
first she made them wait and then she was eager to get out in a rush
labor started while shopping at whole foods ( is this the new method to induce labor?)
and about 4 hours later.. she was born. her mother meditated right through
most of the commotion. well done girls!

Elias Leon Calderoni

2009-04-07T20:34:00.000-07:00

finally we have the joy to announce the birth of our son Elias Leon, on march 29
2009 at 7pm.
it was a home birth and nothing like any of us expected it to be. a gentle dance
of love (the only expression that fits, even it sounds very granola) without any
pain, made the experience a soul altering experience. Barbara was nonmedicated
the whole time and handled the contractions only with instinctual meditation of
her entire body and mind.
the last part,pushing the baby out~ that was actually 15 minutes of extreme
physical pain~ didn't last long, but was necessary to conquer the final
challenge of giving birth.
we are very grateful for this wonderful gift we were able to receive and thank
our protectors and guardians, especially Angelika Nugent, the best midwife on
earth.

Happy Birthday March Babies

2009-03-31T17:50:00.000-07:00

on sunday the 29th of march... a beautiful and bright spring day, another baby boy
arrived in Sausalito. His name is most likely Elias and he weight in on exactly 9 pounds.
his parents are Barbara and Massimo and his sisters name is Isabella.
He came right before dinner .... so Barbara had a quick shower and requested
a Sushi Ran take out dinner and a champagne toast... The little bambino had dinner
with us and went right to sleep..........

here is nico, anja and me at a post partum visit

.....and this cutey is little Nicholas

and another little boy arrived...

2009-03-25T18:12:00.000-07:00

Little Rev was born to Abigail and Brown Cannon on friday the 20th of March 2009.
What a magical journey! The highest Highs and the lowest Lows.
Rivers of milk for this little bear cub. All is well in Mill Valley!

2009-03-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

on St Patricks day... Billy and Anjas baby boy was born
he weight in on 9 pounds and 4 ounces and his name is Nicolas Billy
It was Anjas first time to give birth and she did wonderfully well.
In fact.. I told her she is my current hero.
At first we thought this baby will be here very soon.
... but then it took much longer and even longer..
Anjas positive attitude never wavered... and after
24+ hours... little nicholas finally emerged as if nothing
had been going on at all.

needless to say... we were very happy... relieved and we all needed to sleep for a while

on the 18th of march little Rohan Felix was born.
Rohan is the cutest little guy and came into the world
without much a do... on his due date.. during working hours
and according to his mother... it hardly hurt very much at all.
his mother wiebke and father Tinoo are very very happy
and cant believe he is already here.
I wonder what his brothers will say when they come home from school...

I am waiting for 4 more babies to come very soon..
stay tuned... maybe there will be some early baby photos soon

My journey to India was very rich and full of magic and blessings.
after arriving in Dehli...a little obstacle course led me to bodhgaya
where i spent 2 weeks meditating and receiving teachings.
mostly i was very happy traveling alone, because i got to linger with
what i deemed important. now i should say what it was that i "deemed"
important. I wanted to sit in the atmosphere where the Buddha Shakyamuni
reached enlightenment... and it was there, where i wanted to reassess what
i wanted to do with the remainder of this lifetime . it was all in all a very
personal process...
Bodhgaya is a small village in Bihar, which is the poorest state of India.
It is India pure.. as some might describe it. Many very poor and uneducated
people. most o0f them children. many starving and sick. many beggars.
on my way to Bodhgaya i had met a man who talked for all our traveling time together
about his non profit charity project in Varanasi... which is 4 hours away from Bodhgaya.
he urged me to come visit after my Bodhgaya time.
After Bodhgaya, i went to Varanasi... where Buddha Shakamuni gave his first teaching
at deer park.. and visited with the d-foundation.
I stayed in a guesthouse right across from that park.. when i opened my eyes each morning
my first view of the day was the stupa... then, for the next 10 days, Pappuu of the
D-FOUNDATION would pick me up, to show me the project... and to give me a good
view of another reality. A holding pen for unwanted humans... women.... children
... orphans... outcasts. Papuu is a social worker... mother theresa in a mans body.
... all of theses humans deeply touched me and reminded me strongly of my own
children. I came with boxes of cookies and chocolate and passed them out with many hugs
and words of love and encouragement.

there was one young woman... who i felt needed my special help.
she had no more relatives and has been in horrific conditions... called a hospital..
with spinal tuberculosis... Pappuu giving the money for medicine and food.
she can not walk anymore and her body has contracted into a fetal position in the
absence of surgery and physical therapy... well... i bought some soap. new sheets,
new nightgown... towels etc. washed her rubbed some arnica oil on her and told her
the worst was over... went to the ATM to buy her an MRI to figure out what needs to
happen next... her name is Urmila... and you can see a picture of her and me attached.

today the surgeon got her MRI and will let me know shortly what he could do for her.
I told Urmila that i have many friends here in san francisco who will help me help her.
PLEASE FOLLOW THIS BLOG AND DONATE WHAT YOU CAN TO URMILA
I will keep you posted about the details of the wheres and the hows...

well after I had finished my visit in Varanasi...
my friend and teacher and english student... ( and my mother) Khenpo Ghawang,
had finished his work for HH Karmapa in Varanasi and we went on a very long
train ride to sikkim. Indian trains are something else... and a story for another day.
after another 24 hours of traveling by train and jeep and "taxi"... we reached
Ralang monastery in the Himalayas... 10.000 feet above sea level..
Ralang is away from everything. no real road... no internet...no reliable
phone connection.. sometimes water... sometimes electricity.
500 monks... close by a nunnery. that's it. mountains. some cows.

there are no words to describe my time there.
I was extremely well taken care of.
nothing was going on... jet everything was going on.
i had to tear myself away...

I got to visit with some very accomplished lamas
and they encouraged me very strongly to come back
soon for a retreat and teachings...

also while in sikkim I visited rumtek and gangtok

.. and after my 6 weeks had flown by... we had to begin
saying our farewells. My mother.. khenpo ghawang
gave me a few more instructions for the road and waved
until i could not see him anymore.

Now i am on another adventure... here in america
where the sidewalks are so clean... i am tempted to take off my shoes.

I am lucky...because I have my midwifery work that is waiting for me
and of course my kids and friends and my teacher Lama Lodru Rinpoche.

End of the year...new years adventure

2008-12-25T19:52:00.000-08:00

I attended 4 births this months. 3 boys and one girl.
3 of those births were quite fast and uncomplicated
and one little girl could not turn herself from a breech position
into a head down position, due to her short cord...this is what we
know now... so, she was helped out by a c section.
everybody promised pictures and stories... but due to the holidays,
nobody actually came through. It has been a lovely "births" month.

now its count down time to my pilgrimage journey to bodhgaya
india... 4 more days. will there be anymore babies before?
if not my good friend Lisa will take over to catch the latecomers.

I will leave on the 30th of december... first leg of the trip will take me
to frankfurt..germany and from there to Dheli, were my sister will
pick me up and bring me to a hotel to catch some sleep... then we will be
off to bodhgaya on a 13h train ride....sounds exciting?

Birth of a Blog

2008-11-04T16:28:00.000-08:00

what does it take to start a blog... well, in my case it took somebody like my Tibetan English student, a professor of Buddhist studies, to direct my attention to this activity and the possible
benefit of keeping this kind of a journal. tu chi che... means thank you in Tibetan.

this month is the first quiet months of the year. not very many babies at all.
which is a welcome break. I am seeing 12 pregnant women for regular pre natal care
and 3 women are in my post partum care right now.

a television station has asked me to locate a new mother and her family
to participate in a little clip... but you must have a sweet or heartbreaking story,
something of interest others would be moved by.
anybody interested?

In December i will be a very busy midwife and will keep this blog supplied with
birth stories and photos+.

By December 30th i will be heading for a 6 week adventure to india
and will keep all of you posted with most likely interesting stories
and photos.

by february 12th I will be back... very relaxed and very happy..I hope

and ready for jumping right back into catching babies
and cheering for you all at a time when you need it most.

Angelika